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stressful and surreal that he didn t think he was fully recovered
from it. When he woke up to an empty bed, he had been convinced
the entire exchange with Christopher had been nothing more than a
sweet fantasy. He d had so many of those interspersed between
heavy feelings of dread and failure. He d swung wildly between
hope and resignation, finally settling on the latter. He was honestly
amazed that he d even been coherent when Christopher arrived.
The taxi dropped him off in front of the hospital, and he ran
inside, scanning the main lobby for any sign of his boyfriend. He
wasn t there. Gage didn t even pause. He rushed over to the bank
of elevators and jabbed the button that would take him to Joe s
recovery room. His hands were clammy and his stomach in knots
over what he might see. Why give them more ammunition? Why
let them take any of their time at all? Gage did miss his brothers,
but he had finally realized that he didn t need to let his parents
poison his life.
He would have liked to tell Christopher about his epiphany.
Maybe he should have done it the night before. Maybe if he had,
Christopher would have stayed in bed with him where he
belonged.
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LEO: ALL THAT YOU ARE
As soon as the elevator doors opened, he heard the voices. Or
rather, he heard his mother s.
Do you really think this is appropriate?
You tell me. Christopher sounded cool and calm, much more
so than Sarah. Did you think it was appropriate to spring your
little crusade on Gage the other day, when all he wanted was to be
here for his father?
Chris
Don t, Bowden. You weren t there.
Neither were you, Mr. Gleason, Sarah said. What I do to
save my son is none of your concern.
I beg to differ. When he ends up miserable, that has
everything to do with my concern. When he ends up not eating,
and not sleeping, and convinced he s the most horrible person in
the world, that s my business, too. Because somebody has to care
about what happens to him, and you have clearly abdicated from
the responsibility.
Christopher, Gage said, drawing the attention of everybody
in the lobby. Including the three strangers awkwardly watching the
whole exchange from the corner. What are you doing?
Christopher had dressed to impress, his shirt crisp, his trousers
impeccably pressed. Though he had sounded calm, Gage could tell
from the flash in his eyes just how agitated Christopher really was.
What I would ve done if I d been here on Friday.
Sarah s nostrils flared. Get him out of here, Gage. This isn t
the time or place.
And Joe s operation was better, is that it? Christopher shook
his head. You don t get to pick and choose. You had your turn.
Now it s mine.
Christopher, you don t have to do this. Christopher wasn t
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LEO: ALL THAT YOU ARE
looking at him, but Gage kept his attention locked on him. She s
not going to hear anything you say. I think she forgot how to listen
a long time ago.
Bowden stepped between them. Listen to him, Chris. Nobody
wins this way.
Nobody? He jabbed a finger at Sarah. She does. This is
exactly what she wants. If she can t see it, she doesn t have to deal
with it.
Gage finally moved, crossing the room to take Christopher s
hand. He didn t think he would be able to bodily drag Christopher
to the elevator, but he hoped that a physical connection would be
enough to distract Christopher from his mission.
What do you want her to deal with?
You. The fact that you re not a child she can manipulate at
will. That you re strong and talented, and it shouldn t matter that
you re gay, because you re her son. His fingers tightened in
Gage s, but Christopher was still glaring at Sarah. There s this
little thing called unconditional love, Mrs. Kimball. Why is that
such a difficult concept for you?
Christopher& Gage took a deep breath and hoped that he
wasn t about to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You ve
already shown me what unconditional love is. That s all I need.
Sarah s sharp inhalation was audible in the sudden silence
filling the waiting area. Bowden s eyes widened, jumping from
Gage to Christopher to Sarah, then back to Gage again.
Christopher s reaction was the most important, though. His
focus slid straight to Gage, his gaze searching, surprise bright and
burning. Several seconds passed where all Gage could hear was the
pounding of his heart, but then, the corner of Christopher s mouth
lifted, and he squeezed Gage s hand.
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LEO: ALL THAT YOU ARE
Looks like you re smarter than me, too. You figured that out
first.
Gage released the breath he d been holding. It was more of
a& hopeful guess. But after last night I know that you re not going
to& punish me for my mistakes or my flaws. You won t try to cut
me until I bleed for atonement. You ll never make me feel like I m
less of a person because I m not perfect.
Never, Christopher said. I love you just like you are.
Please, Sarah hissed. There are people watching.
Shut up, Mom. I wouldn t care if the entire state of Utah was
watching. I m not doing anything wrong. That pulled a smile
from Christopher, and Gage s heart had never felt lighter. I love
you, too. More than anything.
They moved at the same time, Christopher s hand cupping the
side of Gage s face as their mouths came together. In the
background, he heard Sarah s gasp, but the only thing that
mattered right then was Christopher s kiss and the knowledge that
they loved each other. The kiss was deep and delicious, better than
any he could remember, and Christopher was still smiling when
they parted.
Let s get married, Gage blurted, not thinking about anything
except that he never wanted this feeling of lightness, of security, to
end. Judging from the chorus of gasps around him, he probably
should have waited for a better time and place to propose, but now
the words were uttered, he wasn t going to back down. They felt
right. I mean, you said you wanted to be exclusive, and I
definitely want that, too. I also want this to be permanent.
Christopher stared at him with a mixture of awe and disbelief,
but Sarah s sharp voice cut through his euphoria.
You can t do that! It s illegal!
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LEO: ALL THAT YOU ARE
Christopher didn t even glance in her direction. Not
everywhere.
Gage, you don t need to do this. Bowden didn t sound nearly
as shocked as his mom did, but there was no denying the careful
tone in his voice. Take some time to get away from all the stress.
You don t want to rush into anything you re going to regret.
Gage still didn t look away from the only person in the room
who mattered. Do you think it s rushing?
His thumb caressed the edge of Gage s jaw. You realize
you re asking the guy who thinks the older something is, the more
valuable it is, right?
See, even Chris
I wasn t done. He cut Bowden off without raising his voice,
though the muscles in his neck worked as he swallowed. You ve
been the exception to every stupid rule I ever made for myself.
And one of the things you ve taught me is to grab onto what I want
and don t let go. Not for anything. Or anyone. His smile
deepened. If you think you can put up with an old man like me
forever, I would love to marry you.
Gage pressed closer to Christopher and caught his mouth in a
slow, deliberate kiss. There were too many emotions to try to
express in words, too much gratitude and love and joy. It seemed
impossible that just the night before, he thought he was prepared to
live the rest of his life without Christopher. How could he have
been so dumb? Now he was just glad Christopher had been too
strong to let everything slip through their fingers.
I don t even know who you are anymore, Sarah said in the
background.
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