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sex-things people said because they d come so hard they went stupid with it. Honestly,
though, it had thrilled him for a second until he realised Nick couldn t mean it.
It wasn t until right after Nick laughed bitterly and got off Josh like he was on fire that
Josh realised yes, Nick could have meant it.
The bathroom door opened and Josh nearly leapt from his skin. He became aware of
Nick s eyes on him in a heartbeat, Josh s ruddy skin warming as the scent of soap wafted into
the room.
It s Nick snorted, drawing Josh s gaze up to lock with the older man s. Well, it s
not okay, exactly, but I understand.
Understand what? Josh asked, feeling almost as vapid as he had right after Nick
fucked him. Hard to think when Nick was rubbing a towel over his broad furry chest, and
the towel knotted at his hip kept slipping down with each swipe.
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I understand why you don t believe that I love you, Nick said, But I do love you,
that is, and I ll keep saying it until you believe me. Nick offered up a smile full of promise as
he turned away to begin scooping his clothes off the floor.
Josh s mouth watered as he watched the plump globes of Nick s ass bounced under
the towel. He d love to run his tongue over every inch of Nick s butt, and those divots at the
small of Nick s back? They just begged to be licked.
Are you staring at my ass? Nick asked, wigging the body part in question.
Yeah. It was a wonderful distraction.
Nick s soft laughter warmed Josh through to his soul. The older man turned and sat
on the edge of the bed, looking at Josh. I was afraid you d leave while I showered, Nick
confessed. But I thought I should give you some time after blurting out that I love you. I ve
wanted to tell you for so long now another reason I didn t trust myself to return any of
your messages. I wish I d have just told you weeks ago. I shouldn t have been such a coward.
You really do deserve better.
Josh shook his head, his gaze on Nick s. The man wasn t a coward; he d been more
honest than Josh had the nerve to be. What was he so afraid of? Saying the words wouldn t
make them any more or less true. If Nick chose to stay in Montana and pretend he was
something someone he wasn t, Josh would still love him.
Why did you come here?
Josh opened eyes he hadn t realised he d closed. He looked at Nick and tensed,
preparing to throw himself over the edge into an abyss that could well consume him. Josh
stood and strode on shaky legs over to his lover, then dropped onto his knees in front of the
older man. Nick s eyes widened and his mouth opened on a questioning sound. Josh blindly
reached for Nick s hands, unwilling and unable to look away from those eyes which seemed
to see right into his soul. How could Nick not know, when it felt to Josh as if it were branded
onto his skin.
I couldn t let you go, Josh scraped out, twining his fingers with Nick s. I had to try,
to see if How the hell had Nick managed it with such ease? Josh s heart was slamming
against his ribs and his mind was shying away from the words with a near panicked frenzy.
Because, he realised, the man before him had the power to break him. Steeling himself,
rationalising that Nick wouldn t reject him, not after the older man had made his own
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confession, didn t seem to be helping. Josh opened his mouth only to snap it shut again. Nick
frowned then leant forward to brush his lips over Josh s.
I screwed up too bad, Nick began, his voice so soft yet fragile in a way that ripped at
Josh s heart.
No, Josh blurted out, unable to bear the way the other man was hurting. No, I m
just terrified, but I do, I love you, I
Nick shuddered, his eyes narrowing to thin slits as his hands squeezed Josh s
uncomfortably hard. That s all I need, Josh. That s all I need. Then Nick jerked him close
and crushed his lips to Josh s, demanding entry with a sweep of his tongue.
Josh moaned and opened, dimly aware that his hands were now free. He reached for
any part of the man to grab onto, an anchor in this world that had narrowed down to three
words and a scorching kiss. His hands lighted on Nick s chest, his fingers curling into the
swell of Nick s pecs and the dense hair covering them.
This is what matters most, Nick murmured, brushing the words over Josh s lips.
Not my pride, not a ranch left to me by the most hateful man I ve ever known, not my
mother s plans and schemes and expectations. Just you, loving you. Can you have enough
faith in me to trust me to come back to you?
Josh wanted to say fuck it and stay here, not let Nick out of his sight in case the man
needed him or in case he changed his mind. But the way Nick was looking at him, hope,
love, need all clear in his expression how could Josh doubt the man? He wouldn t.
Josh nodded once then tenderly kissed the older man. If you re not coming back with
me when I leave tomorrow, then you d better come back to me soon. We have a lot of lost
time to make up for.
Nick s smile was so joyous Josh could only smile back like some sappy lovestruck
fool which he knew he was. Nick pulled him up to his feet then wrapped his arms around
Josh s waist and dragged him down to the bed. I promise, I won t be any longer than I have
to be. He reached down and cupped Josh s hardening cock, leering in a way Josh
wholeheartedly approved of. Now, about making up for lost time&
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Chapter Nineteen
Nothing had ever felt as wrong as watching Josh wave goodbye before boarding the
plane. Nick s nerve endings kept flitting hot and cold, his muscles clenched against the need
to run after Josh and grab him. Yeah, that d go over great with airport security. Besides, he
knew Josh had a life to get back to. Hopefully his lover would make a place for him in it.
My lover. Those two words didn t seem enough to describe what Josh was to him, yet
they thrilled him to his core. He hadn t known he was capable of feeling so much, but Josh
brought out a myriad of emotions that made Nick s future their future full of so much
hope and love, Nick s perception of the world had been altered. The cynicism that had been
an almost depressing voice in his head had been almost completely silenced, and for the first
time in his life, Nick felt as if he had a purpose. He wasn t just a means to an end for his
mother, a way for her to hold on to a man who even in death meant everything to her. It was
well past time to start living for himself, and as Nick watched the plane taxi down the
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